It is a dreaded cliche - 'Be yourself.' This is supposedly the key to getting people to like you. Besides, it is so much easier not to act like someone you are not.
Unfortunately, people take this to mean that one must be complacent with the person one is. Instead of taking charge of one's life, 'being yourself' would entail resigning one's self to having certain flaws or inadequacies, "because that's how God made me."
When people are told to show confidence in dealing with women, the more meek would remark, "But that's not myself. I can't pretend to be confident when I'm not." And there is our problem. What ever happened to self-discovery and self-growth?
Meeting a special girl has different effects on different people. Some give up before the fight is started, thinking that the girl is out of their league. Others would want to work on their personal issues, but feel that to act confident is being artificial and phony. "I want her to love me for who I am!"
And still others, a minority as far as I am concerned, may still have their own issues to deal with, but do not take this to mean that that is how things are going to be forever. "Being yourself" becomes a mission. In order to be yourself, you have to discover who you really are behind the insecurities and brainwashings since childhood.
In this journey, one finds that one's 'self' is actually something to be proud of. One finds that one has a right to exist, and want things. One has a right to happiness, through interactions with other people, including the opposite sex. No longer does he think that a woman is too good for him. No longer is he worried that he would say the wrong things at the wrong time. Whatever he says, he apologizes to no one.
Some may think it cruel for society to still be based on a lot of power play, as with the animal kingdom. In a pride of lions, there is a king. Anyone who's seen 'The Lion King' knows that. In a community, there is no need to be assigned the title of king, to act like one. One shows one's power not by biting the head off some dead animal. Civilization has remarkably more subtle ways of displaying such power.
Wouldn't it be great for the discovery of yourself to be this way? Once you get past the hippie propaganda fed to you since birth, you will indeed find self-discovery to be this way. I would probably rephrase the famous adage, "Be yourself," to something more proactive: "Become yourself."
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